Valentine’s Day.

You know, I can remember a time when I really looked forward to Valentine’s Day. A day when I would give ‘something’ to the people who mattered most to me at the time (even if it was just the perfect card). A day when I would wait with bated breath to see if I received ‘something’ from someone who thought I was special to them (which happened more often than I thought would yessirree!).

But now? I’m not sure what I think about Valentine’s Day.

Ok, so yeah, I admit my turmoil has something to do with the current state of my marriage. Honestly, who wouldn’t be affected by that? It’s possible that once things settle down on that front, I may be able to look at Valentine’s Day as I once did in the past and welcome it back into my life with open arms.

But then again, maybe not.

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A former coworker once told me that he and his wife didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I was still wore my heart-shaped rose-colored glasses at the time, though, so his words kinda shocked me. And, of course, I HAD to ask…

“Why?”

His answer was interesting. He explained that he and his wife felt it was more special to do something romantic on any other day of the year, not on the day when romance was encouraged and (for many) expected. They both felt that when romance was unexpected and spontaneous, it meant more to them.

I told him I understood what he meant, but I don’t think I really did understand. Then.

Fast forward 15 years. And I think I get it now.

I would rather have romance any time that was heartfelt and sincere and… meaningful… than have a lifetime of Valentine’s Day gifts that might have very little thought behind them (have you met my husband?) and that might be given out of a feeling of obligation.

That being said, if flowers show up for me on Valentine’s Day? I would be ok with that. You might even catch a smile on my face. I’m not nuts after all. Yeah, I know there are some that would beg to differ with that.

Just no candy. Cuz then I really will have to stab someone.

Yes I miss you. Call me.

I don’t believe love is elusive.

Wanna know more about Six Word Saturday? Head over to Cate’s page.

Having this time to myself just wasn’t what I thought it would be.

When the husband said he was finally being sent out of town for work, I dropped to my knees and cried, “My prayers have been answered, thank you LORD!” But then I remembered that I’m agnostic, so that didn’t really help. I thought that the time apart would be a good break from the tension in the house. And it has been. But along with that, came something I wasn’t expecting. Something that I am having a difficult time explaining (even to myself). I found that I focused on how much I wanted to be free of this ‘arrangement’ and to move on with my life. To hopefully find love again. And I realized how scared I am that I won’t be able to find it. That I won’t be able to have a lasting, loving relationship (that is after the prince charges up on his white steed and sweeps me off my feet – good dream!). It keeps me up at night and helps me plot how I’m going to stab the husband as he sleeps cuz I can he snores.

I recently bought the eternity necklace above. I’m not superstitious. I just liked the idea of wearing these rings near my heart reminding me of things I need to hold onto through this tough time (cuz I couldn’t find faith, trust, and pixie dust). If they don’t work I can always start rubbing my rabbit’s foot, knocking on wood, and spinning around clockwise 7 times.

P.S. I’m watching An Officer and a Gentleman on cable and they dubbed over & bleeped out the word wop. This country’s going to hell. I should probably try to get some sleep, but the odds of success are not in my favor. Good thing the husband is not here or he would be in serious danger if he eyeballed me.

P.P.S. Oh, I need a drink.

i admit it. i receive emails from an online adult store. there, i said it. sometimes the stuff in the emails is just too unbelieveably weird. i received an email today from them and at the top of the message it said:

last chance – 25% off all vibrators for valentine’s day!

and i’m thinking, who in the HELL would give a vibrator as a valentine’s day present? i realize that many try to give something different than the more common candy or flowers. but, really? a vibrator? i guess nothing says true love more than a junk buzzer. well, some might actually agree with that.

maybe hallmark should get in the adult product biz. their new slogan could be “when you care enough to send the very best ………. orgasm”.